Pamela D’orsi of PDR Events and New England Invitations is practically Wedding Secrets Unveiled! royalty! And today, this queen of the podcast is back to save you from some of the biggest stressors on a wedding day—timeline mishaps! Sara and Pamela share from their decades in the industry the moments in your timeline that are most likely to create ripple effects. The last thing you want on your wedding day is to be late. So what’s their secret? Build in buffers! Check out this episode to hear all the tips on having a stress-free timeline!
We’re so excited to welcome Pamela back to the podcast for the third time. If you don’t know her, meet Pamela!
My name is Pamela D’Orsi Ryan. I’m a wedding and event planner, as well as owner of New England Invitations that’s located on Main Street in East Greenwich. I’ve been a wedding planner for over 15 years. I’ve produced weddings in Rhode Island, focusing on Newport, Palm Beach, New York City. Additionally, I have a wonderful invitation company called New England Invitations, where I create invitations for clients not only in Rhode Island, but throughout New England and abroad.
You can check out her episodes about paper goods and wedding etiquette here!
Today, we’re going to talk about wedding day timelines. Where should couples start when building their wedding day timeline?
I’ve got to tell you off the bat: I’ve looked at wedding day timelines and just felt they were so tight: there’s no breathing room! God forbid something gets delayed by five minutes. They’ll never stick to that timeline. So, it definitely starts with photography. We want to start with the photography the couple wants before and after the ceremony. Once we have all of those big moments in place, we can back up for hair and makeup in the morning. The timing for hair and makeup is determined by so many factors – how many people, what you’re having done, and so on. It’s important to give everyone wiggle room, though. I have couples look at me and say going between two spots won’t take half an hour. But I remind them, you’re going through Newport in the summer, bumper-to-bumper traffic, and in a trolley that goes 10 MPH slower than any other vehicle on the road. So, yeah. The buffer matters.
You already touched on such an important part of timelines: buffers!
Sometimes things happen – someone forgot a bow tie or the flowers aren’t cooperating. I remind couples that we built in time for this on purpose. There’s wiggle room. Everyone breathe.
Absolutely. Okay, so you said a timeline starts with photography. Let’s talk about that: what does that mean? What should couples do?
The first thing that I have my couples do is to write down the pictures they want taken prior to the ceremony. Most well-seasoned photographers already have an idea about these photos. They’ll be your details, you getting into your dress, and those moments. But we need to know everything – is there an extra parent? A grandparent they want photos with? Does the bride want a first look with her dad? Those things take time. We need to be able to plan for them. I don’t necessarily need the list of the photos with the bridesmaids or attendants. But, those extra shots definitely matter.
Once I get the list from my couples, I send it to their photographer for their feedback. We’re still not building the huge final timeline because it’s the beginning for the process. But, I want to speak with the photographer first. After that, I can back up into hair and makeup and transportation – all of those things.
Let’s talk about those getting ready timelines next. I know that many couples think everyone needs to be ready at the same time. But, they actually don’t. Your photographer and planner can help figure out who needs to be done first. The number one thing that can mess up your day and your timeline is if you get out of the makeup chair late.
I agree! We actually just did a wedding where this came into play. The bride, maid of honor, and mother of the bride needed to be done by 11:30 for pictures. But you, me, and the makeup artist all knew that if we took until 11:45, we’d be okay. It was our little secret not on the timeline. But, that extra buffer helps keep everything on track. The key for any wedding day timeline is to figure out where you can add your buffers. That 15 minute buffer for the bride (and/or the VIPs) can be a huge help!
The other thing during this time of the day is that you think a quick photo of the girls getting ready or with the champagne may be a quick snap. But, you really need to ask your photographer how long it will take them. As a wedding planner, I also make sure that when the photographer arrives, I have the details ready to go – the shoes, the flowers, the invitation suite. The time of their arrival will also dictate when the flowers will arrive. It all intertwines!
Another common problem during getting ready is that brides don’t leave enough time to get their dress on. Getting into the dress probably only takes 5-10 minutes but on your wedding day, there’s other distractions, emotional tugs, and someone special helping you get into your gown. It goes back to just having a buffer! Make sure you know who is getting you in your dress – and have them ready. If your maid of honor is doing touch ups, we’re going to be delayed.
Yes! If you have a timeline, please stick to it. Don’t disappear and go run to do something else. Focus on the bride and keep things moving. Speaking of moving, let’s talk about the transportation component once the couple is ready.
This is something I talked about during the wedding etiquette episode. But, one of the things that I ask the wedding party to do is to bring a duffel bag with them. In this bag, I ask them to put a change of clothes, flip flops for the reception, their makeup… everything that’s going to leave the bridal suite needs to be in there. My team then puts that in whatever transportation comes to pick you up and we have everything you need.
I think it’s really important to understand whether you’re physically leaving the premises or just walking down the hallway, you still have to calculate the actual time it will take to do all of that. And I think it’s really important for people to understand that when you’re doing timelines, double the time it would take to drive anywhere. If you’re not driving, it’s still going to take time to get from your suite to wherever you’re going – trust me. You’ll get distracted, you’ll talk to people. So build in that buffer time.
We can’t stress that enough… especially in Newport! It’s a lot of old roads and trying to navigate them with limos or trolleys can take longer.
You just have to think about all of the logistics of travel. There’s regulations that the trolleys have to follow. Or places like Block Island, where transportation stops after a certain time. Build in time for traffic. Build in time for the family member that has to go to the bathroom or forgets something. The bride and groom are the main priority for the wedding day – so if someone has to grab a cab or an Uber, they’ll be grabbing it. But, we do our best to keep everyone together and moving.
Pamela, you mentioned first looks and transportation. People think first looks just take 5 minutes – and maybe the actual look does. But, I always put first looks as half an hour in my timeline because we’ve got to set up the couple and give them time to walk together and see each other.
Absolutely. And that’s why it’s important to figure out when your photographer wants you ready. And then you work around that time.
What about for ceremonies?
Well, photographers often want the men to arrive before the ceremony. Remember, if your ceremony is at 3pm, you’re not actually walking down the aisle then. If you have a full mass, save at least an hour of time for your ceremony. Onsite ceremonies are usually faster. If you tell me 15 minutes, we’re doubling it to 30 minutes on the timeline. Remember, everything has to happen – the music, the walks, the ceremony, the kiss, and leaving.
We have our bridal parties arrive early because we want to be able to line everyone up and be ready to og. But you still have to seat the VIPs, the family, and get your guests ready to go. I always make sure to tell my couples to take the traditions they’re using for their ceremony into account, too. Readers, communion, all of that can take longer, too. You have to account for everything – them getting out of seats, adjusting the mic… it sounds nitpicky but it’s the truth.
Tips for receiving lines?
Oh, and receiving lines! If you haven’t built that into your timeline, make sure you leave that church! Receiving lines can take time – so if you want one, plan ahead. We usually block the first three rows for the people who would be needed for photos after the ceremony and release them first. Then we try to move the rest of the guests other ways so they don’t try to see the couple and clog everything up. We shuffle those guests to cocktail hour!
So, if you aren’t doing a receiving line – go. Go to transportation if you’re heading to another spot. If you’re just moving somewhere else on the property, move. Take your event coordinator or photographer, an escort to get where you need to go.
Let’s talk about family photos. These often take place during cocktail hour before the reception.
Yes! I’m a huge fan of having a point person to help your photographer and planner figure out who is who. We don’t know your cousins and aunts and uncles. It’s really important to have someone who can help point them out and gather them up. It’s super helpful because it keeps things moving.
Here’s a little tip from the photography end: we keep one hour after the ceremony available for pictures, even if we do a first look. The cocktail hour was always for those photos – brides and grooms didn’t attend their cocktail hour. So, even if you want to attend, you still need to set aside time for these photos. It will take you about 20 minutes per side of the family, 20 minutes with the bridal party, and 20 minutes for the couple. If you have a bigger family, you have to realize we won’t get every breakdown in those 20 minutes. We can find them later and grab the smaller photos you wanted.
What about the reception? What can hold up the timeline there?
Let’s start with the introductions. We’ve gone away from introducing the entire bridal party and it’s more common to see just the couple and their parents. Introducing every member of your bridal party is fun – but it can also hold things up. The other big thing is speeches. I tell my speech givers 3-5 minutes top – we talk about it, it’s on the timeline, but occasionally people go on longer.
Here’s a little tip about your DJs, too: most of them want an hour and a half to two hours of dancing. No more, no less.
Absolutely. Much more than 2 hours and it becomes hard to keep your guests entertained. I like to have people do introductions while salads are coming out and get the speeches done while people are beginning to eat. Throughout the dancing, the bride and groom can get those extra photos they wanted but don’t overschedule yourself. Between photos, speeches, or special moments – just remember to leave time to enjoy it all. After all of that, leave your dance floor open for about an hour and a half then cut it off.
What are some other tips you can give our listeners about their timelines?
Well, guest experiences are important to me. I want to keep things moving – I don’t like there to be downtime and for people to get restless or looking around wondering what’s going on. As a couple, please be flexible – things come up. Talk about your timeline with your planner and photographer to make sure the important stuff happens.
Wrap-Up Question
What are some key points that couples should be taking in consideration when they are trying to put together a successful timeline?
Take into consideration the various aspects the day: from the makeup to the transportation and getting people where you need.
Create a realistic list of your must-have pictures.
Listen to your vendors. They’re seasoned and have been in the industry.
What We Discussed
How to Start Planning Your Timeline (7:06)
Getting Ready Timeline Tips (12:07)
Transportation Tips (23:33)
Ceremony Timeline Tips (28:11)
Photo Tips for Your Timeline (36:54)
Wrap-Up Question (52:49)
Links Mentioned in the Episode
You can find New England Invitations and PDR Events: Website (New England Invitations) and Website (PDR Events) |Instagram| Facebook |Pinterest | 36 Main Street, East Greenwich, RI
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