Shannon St. Ours of SES Events is back on the mic for another incredible episode of Wedding Secrets Unveiled! In this episode, Shannon dives into everything you need to know in those final weeks before your big day. Whether you’re just a month out and feeling the pressure or you’re planning ahead and prepping your last-minute checklist, this one’s for you! Tune in for Shannon’s expert tips and must-know advice—she’s covering it all, from final details to making sure you don’t forget that all-important marriage license!
Hello, Shannon! Welcome back – you’re a veteran.
Third time’s a charm.
I just love talking to you, and you’re a wealth of knowledge.
For our readers who might be new to you, can you tell us a little bit about who you are, who you serve, and what you do in your business?
Absolutely! My name is Shannon St. Ours, and I’m the owner and lead planner at SES Events. We’re based in Warwick, Rhode Island, but we travel all over New England—and even beyond! Last year, for example, we did a wedding in the Catskills in New York. So yes, we’re open to travel!
We offer a range of services, from full wedding planning and event design to wedding management and day-of coordination.
So basically, you’re the bestie every couple needs on their big day?
I try to be! I really do have some amazing couples. I feel so lucky.
You really do! I think I’ve said this before, but you attract some of the coolest couples. I’m not just blowing smoke—you really do. And it’s interesting, because different planners tend to draw in different kinds of clients. That’s what makes each of you so uniquely perfect at what you do.
Totally! Everyone has their niche, and that’s what makes it fun.
Your couples are just… different in the best way. They’re unique, creative, grounded—and I mean that as a compliment! For those of us who work weddings every weekend, it’s refreshing. Your weddings always have these special, personal touches, and your couples are just lovely people. And look, sometimes planners attract couples who are more high-maintenance—which isn’t a bad thing! Sometimes that’s exactly why they need a planner: to keep them grounded.
For sure. That’s definitely part of the job.
But I don’t feel like your clients fall into that high-maintenance category. They always seem calm, cool, and collected—just like you.
So today’s topic is things to remember in the final weeks of wedding planning. This is such a good one.
Ahh, yeah. I mean, the list can go on and on for this! But yes, that’s what we’re going to concentrate on today. If you’re in the final countdown—what do you think, like 90 days out?
Yeah, are we talking about three months here?
Yeah, anywhere between 8 to 12 weeks out is when, kind of for lack of a better phrase, the shit hits the fan. Everything happens all at once in those final months, so it can get a little crazy. It’s really important to know what might come up, what to prioritize, and how not to feel overwhelmed during that final stretch.
I have a random question for you—just popped into my head as you said 8 to 12 weeks. How often are you brought into the process around that time? I mean, I know a lot of your couples hire you earlier on, but do you ever get pulled in at that panic stage?
Brought in as in hired at the panic stage? Yes! Sometimes. It’s only happened a handful of times where someone reaches out two months out and is like, “Oh my god, okay—we need help.” But usually it’s at least a few months before that. I’d say around six months out is pretty common.
Especially for day-of coordination or what we call wedding management, it’s become such a no-brainer for couples. I actually already have wedding management clients booked for next year—and even for 2026! So people are starting to realize earlier and earlier that they need that help.
Yeah, and I think a lot of people don’t realize that day-of coordination still means you need to be looped in earlier, just to actually manage things properly, right?
Exactly. I know so many couples still call it “day-of coordination,” but really, it’s wedding day management. And for us specifically—and I know other planners do this too—we actually start that process three months out. There’s just no way someone can show up the day of your wedding and magically pull it off. We need time to talk to your vendors, to talk to you, to get everything lined up. So really, we’re coming in at that sweet spot—the final countdown.
Okay, let’s get into it then. Final Countdown—it’s happening! What’s the first thing you feel people tend to forget, or should absolutely remember?
Oh, 100%—the marriage license. You have to make sure you have a plan for your marriage license. There’s no marriage without it! And there are different rules depending on your state, so you need to be clear on what those are. For example, in Rhode Island, a marriage license is valid for 90 days. That means you can’t go get it before that 90-day mark or it’ll expire before your wedding. So it really does fall right into that final countdown window.
Right, and I feel like people think they’ll just pop over and grab it last-minute.
Exactly! A lot of couples think, “Oh, we’ll just show up and get it,” but in some towns you actually need to make an appointment. You usually both need to be there in person, which adds a layer of scheduling. So now you’re coordinating work schedules, planning for town hall hours—it’s a lot! But it’s so important, because without the marriage license, you’re not legally married. Everything else is just a really great party.
And don’t forget a black pen on the day of the wedding!
Yes! I always keep black pens in my binder. Usually, the officiant will have one, but nowadays a lot of couples are getting married by friends or family members who’ve done a one-day certification or are part of some kind of affiliation—religious or otherwise. And while someone usually has a pen, it has to be black ink.
Yes! And that’s actually really important. I’ve seen that exact scenario—where a friend is officiating, and it’s like, “Yay, this is so special!” But logistically, this is a legal document. There are real guidelines to follow.
Exactly. No black Sharpies, no substitutions. And honestly, a lot of those one-day officiants? They’ve never done this before, so they don’t always know how to fill out the marriage license correctly. That’s why it’s so important to plan ahead—talk through the logistics before the ceremony. You don’t want to be dealing with a bunch of questions right after you’ve just walked back down the aisle.
And after the ceremony, everyone’s ready to get to the party. No one wants to pause for paperwork stress.
Totally. You want it to be seamless. My best advice? Stick a black pen right in the envelope with your marriage license—whoever you’re handing that off to during rehearsal should be set up for success.
Yep, and also just take a moment to read the license ahead of time. Know what you’re signing and where—because it’s not always obvious. Like, you need your witnesses to sign, there are specific spots for everyone to fill out, and yes—it all needs to be in black ink.
And if you have questions, lean on your vendors! It’s funny—when you go to City or Town Hall, they’ll often say they can’t advise you on how to fill it out.
Really?
Yep! It’s bizarre. You’d think they’d help, but instead they hand you a sheet of instructions and basically say, “Good luck!” They’ll give you a little hint hint, but they can’t walk you through it. So don’t be afraid to ask your planner, officiant, or even your photographer—someone will have done this before and can help guide you. That way, it’s not a stressful moment on your wedding day.
And that’s why you’re a professional! You’ve learned all these little ins and outs over time.
Exactly. It’s the little things that make a big difference.
Alright, what else you got for us?
Let’s see… when you’re in those final few months leading up to the wedding, your RSVP deadline is probably coming in hot. You’re going to be chasing down a few last-minute stragglers, but soon your caterer or venue is going to provide you with a due date for your final headcount. So you want to make sure you know when that is.
And please—couples, do not forget to include yourselves! It’s funny, but a lot of couples forget to count themselves in the headcount or seating assignments. Don’t leave yourself out of your own wedding dinner!
Make sure you’re tracking those dates. Whether you use an iPhone calendar, a paper planner, a digital to-do list—whatever works—just set reminders so nothing slips through the cracks. These due dates are super important to making sure everything else can move forward on time.
Do you have a pro tip for how couples can stay on top of all those different due dates? I’m just thinking through the list of what I need from couples—and every vendor has their own timeline.
Yeah, that’s such a good point. And honestly, it is tough because it varies even by vendor type. Some caterers want your final counts 60 days out, while others might not need them until two or three weeks before the wedding. So it really depends.
That said, generally, a lot of things fall around that 30-day mark. So, for example, let’s say your wedding is May 1st. By the end of March—right about now—you’ll want to have a few things ready: your final headcount (including meal choices and any allergies), your photographer’s shot list, music planning forms or playlists for your DJ or band and any additional paperwork or questionnaires your vendors need. That way, you’re ready to go as soon as someone asks for it—you’re not scrambling last minute.
You also mentioned something important when we were talking before the show—don’t forget about the other events around the wedding!
Yes! The venue hosting your rehearsal dinner or welcome party will need a lot of the same information—just on a smaller scale. Think: seating assignments, headcounts, meal selections (if it’s a sit-down dinner), and any other details that apply. You don’t want those events to become an afterthought.
Also, if you’re listening to this and you have an RSVP card sitting on your desk for someone else’s wedding…
Please RSVP! I always tell my couples—you already know who you’re going to be chasing down. It’s usually your family and your wedding party. They’ll say, “Oh, you know I’m coming!” But you still need them to send in that RSVP, especially if you’re collecting meal preferences or allergy info. Knowing they’re attending isn’t enough. You need the details!
And that probably leads us right into our next topic—floor plans?
Yes! So, floor plan and timeline are really the guiding documents for your entire vendor team on the wedding day. The floor plan, for obvious reasons, is crucial for setup. It shows where everything is happening, where tables go, where the DJ is, where the cake is being delivered—all of that. If you don’t have a planner or coordinator, the floor plan usually comes from your venue or your catering team.
The timeline, on the other hand, if it’s not being done by a planner or coordinator, often falls to the photographer—which I know Sarah can speak to, of course. But in those final weeks, it’s really important that both the floor plan and timeline are finalized, and that you share them with the entire vendor team.
Yes! Share it with everyone—your florist, your cake delivery team, your hair and makeup crew—make sure nobody’s caught off guard about where they need to be or when setup and breakdown are happening. That’s the takeaway here: don’t assume everyone knows everything.
Shannon: Exactly. And definitely overshare. Vendors will tell you if they don’t need something. But I always say—loop them in anyway. Over-communication is never a bad thing. I’d rather someone ask me, “Do you need this?” than not ask at all. As a photographer, for example, I don’t need the floor plan—but I do need the timeline. So keep the info flowing and trust your vendors to filter what’s relevant.
If you don’t have a planner? Guess who ends up doing the timeline?
Yep —that’s you!
With floor plans specifically, I always tell my couples—send everything my way, and I’ll sort through what I need. Not every vendor works like that, but the point is: trust your vendors. We do this all the time, and we know what we need, when we need it. Also—don’t panic if you haven’t heard from every vendor 90 days out. They will be in touch when it’s time. I promise.
Yes! That’s exactly where I was going next. Over-communicate, but also, if someone tells you they don’t need something yet—believe them. I had lunch with a venue coordinator recently, and she mentioned that a couple reached out about their floor plan a full year before the wedding. And she was like, “Not yet. Do you even know your guest count?” Because without that, there’s really no point. Ten extra people can completely change your layout.
Exactly—one table can throw everything off!
Totally. And again, it varies venue to venue. That’s why it’s so important to lean into your vendors and trust them. They know what works best for their space, for their staff, and for the flow of the event. That doesn’t mean you can’t ask questions—you absolutely should! But be open to hearing, “Let’s wait until X,” or “We’ll revisit this closer to the date.”
I was chatting with a venue coordinator recently, and she said something that really stuck with me. A couple reached out a yearbefore their wedding asking to start working on their floor plan. And her response? Just super matter-of-fact: “Not yet.” Not annoyed, not dismissive—just, “You’re early. We do that inside 90 days.” And honestly? She’s right.
If there’s one big takeaway from today’s conversation, it’s this: You get engaged, you dive into planning, and then… there’s this quiet period. It feels like nothing’s happening, and it’s hard—especially for those Type A personalities who want to check all the boxes early. But the truth is: that final 90-day window is when everything starts to happen.
Yes! It really is what it is. Within that 90-day window, everything comes together—your final details, confirmations, timelines, floor plans. And for vendors like us, we’re often focused on the couples getting married this weekend, or next weekend. So when someone reaches out six months ahead asking, “Can we do this now?”—I always say, you can talk to me, but just know… it might not be time yet. I want everything to be fresh in my mind when I’m working with you.
Exactly. And you want your vendors to be present and focused when your time comes. That’s why it’s important to trust that they’ll guide you through it. So with that in mind, let’s talk about what happens during that 90-day period—like confirming arrival times and final plans with your vendor team.
Yes! That’s a huge one. Early in the planning process—maybe a year and a half out—you had a conversation about, “We’re thinking our ceremony will be at 5 PM,” or “This is the general flow of the night.” But things change. So don’t assume your vendors know the latest version of your timeline or logistics.
In those final weeks, you need to confirm everything. If you added a first look, changed ceremony times, or added a special moment—that all needs to be communicated. And most importantly, confirm what each vendor is responsible for. For example, don’t assume your florist is staying to move ceremony florals to the reception tent—ask and confirm.
Those final walkthrough calls or review meetings are the best time to do that. You can literally go, “Here’s the updated timing—does that match what you have?” Or, “These five arrangements need to be moved—can your team do that, or do we need to make another plan?”
Yes. And while we’re on it—don’t forget to check with your venue about load-in and breakdown timing. Some venues are working museums, hotels, or restaurants. That means vendors might be required to remove everything that night. No next-day pickups. Don’t assume your florist or rental company knows that unless you tell them.
Yes! That’s so important. And again, that’s something that’s way easier to handle ahead of time, not in the middle of cocktail hour when no one’s left to move florals or break down décor. The last thing you want is your wedding party hauling centerpieces because nobody planned for it.
And I promise you—your vendor team wants your day to be as seamless and magical as you do. Often even more than your family does. But they can’t help you unless they know what’s going on. So don’t be afraid to say, “Hey, my florist can’t stay—venue team, catering team, can someone help with this?” Give them a heads-up. Day-of surprises are the worst.
And for those listening—don’t forget, we actually did an entire episode just on timelines! It’s totally timeless—pun intended. If you haven’t listened, go back and check that one out. It pairs really well with everything we’re talking about today.
Yep—especially for anyone without a planner or coordinator, because often it’s your photographer who ends up helping you piece the timeline together.
So, touching on what I mentioned a few minutes ago—final vendor calls. During that final countdown to your wedding, most vendors—photographers, musicians, videographers (if you have one), plus your venue and catering team—will want to schedule a final meeting or call with you. And these are so important to build into your planning. If you’re working without a planner or coordinator, don’t hesitate to be the one to reach out and ask: “Do you do a final meeting or call with your couples?” And if you’re still in the interviewing phase, it’s a great question to ask upfront.
Yes! I love that you brought this up because I’m getting flooded with emails right now from couples whose weddings are about two months away—they’re hitting that 90-day window. And what they’re saying is totally normal: “Hey, when should we do our final call?”
So here’s how it works for Dan and me—we actually prefer to have our final call two to three weeks out from the wedding. That’s a little later than some photographers, who might schedule it closer to 30 days out. But I’ve learned over the years that so much changes in that final month. It’s really better for everyone if we wait.
Yes! And that’s exactly what we mean when we say “trust your vendors.” Experienced vendors know their rhythm. Some can talk to you the week of and still be totally ready to go.
Totally. It’s not that we’re not willing to talk earlier—I will take calls or answer questions any time! And I’ll even give you a rough outline of the timeline if that helps you stay organized. But that final-final call? That’s the one I want to have just two to three weeks before the wedding.
Right—and that’s because by then, the details are locked in.
Exactly. And here’s a good example—let’s say you decide to do a first look. Some couples will email us like it’s a big change. And that’s great—we always want to know what’s going on—but truthfully, it doesn’t affect us that much. We’re there the whole day. So whether you do a first look or not, we’re rolling with it. Now, your florist? They need to know. Because that bouquet needs to be delivered earlier. So again, it’s about knowing which vendor needs which piece of information—and when.
And it’s different for each type of vendor. Florists and caterers often need their final meetings around 45 days out. That’s because they’re ordering inventory—flowers and food. They need that lead time. But with photography, you’ve already booked the time—it’s about how that time gets used, not if they’ll be there.
Which is why I actually prefer to be the last vendor to have that final call with you. Because when you talk to me, everything else should already be confirmed—locations, start times, florals, ceremony flow, the whole vibe. And that means we can build your photo timeline around everything else. If we have that call too early, things just change. You end up having the same conversation twice.
Which again brings us back to the biggest tip: Trust your vendors. You hired them for a reason. You felt a connection with them. And they do this every single weekend. Start reaching out at that 30-day mark and say, “What do you need from me, and when do you need it?” Let them guide the process.
What else do couples need to be thinking about?
So another thing to really think about as you get into that 90-day zone—or even within the 45-day mark—is your wedding day attire. This is one of those things couples tend to assume is all set, but here’s the truth: Don’t assume your dress, suit, or tux will be pressed, steamed, and totally ready to wear when you pick it up.
Yes! Just because you’re picking it up from a suit shop or bridal boutique doesn’t mean it’s ready to walk down the aisle. It’s so important to talk with whoever you’re working with—whether it’s your dress shop, alterations team, or rental company—and ask if steaming or pressing is included, can it be added on, and when to schedule the pickup.
Exactly. You want to schedule pickup for sometime during the week of your wedding, but definitely not the day before unless you know for a fact everything’s ready. And if steaming isn’t included, you need a backup plan. Trust me, you do not want to be—or assign someone to be—steaming your gown or tux the morning of your wedding. That’s a guaranteed stress moment.
Honestly, I have to shout out Nancy from Bridal Finery. She’s amazing. She’ll literally come to you and steam everything—day-of or night before—and take care of it all. She does some other prep services too, but her steaming? It’s next level.
Right?! She’s such a gem. There are professionals who specialize in this exact thing—use them if you need to! Especially if you’re traveling for your wedding.
What else you got for me?
Alright, let’s talk food. Not your dinner menu—we know you’ll eat then—but your wedding day meals. You need a plan for what you and your VIPs—your wedding party and immediate family—are eating the morning of the wedding.
Yes! This is so overlooked. And even if you’re like, “Oh, I probably won’t be hungry”—you have to eat something. The nerves, the energy, the excitement—it’ll catch up to you.
Exactly. It doesn’t have to be a feast. Just something light and nourishing. Fruit, crackers, bagels, something you like. A lot of couples will even sneak off together and do a private breakfast, which is such a sweet idea.
And hydration! Assign someone to be in charge of water in the getting ready space. Doesn’t have to be you—put a bridesmaid, groomsman, or parent on it. That way everyone is drinking something besides champagne.
Another thing that always comes up within the final month is vendor gratuities—and it’s one of the most confusing parts of wedding planning for couples. There’s a lot of mixed information out there.
Yes, and shout-out to our earlier podcast episode on this—we did a whole deep dive on gratuities. Still one of our most listened-to episodes!
It’s because people really want to do the right thing. So, a few key tips… Go through all of your vendor contracts and check if gratuity is already included. Hair and makeup and transportation often include it. Catering sometimes does. Second, start making a list of who you want to tip and how much. Then go to the bank, pull out the cash and organize it into clearly labeled envelopes. Assign a trusted person (not you!) to hand them out on the wedding day.
Because it’s a lot of cash. And you don’t want to be fumbling with envelopes or wondering if something went missing. It’s a piece of your budget you should plan for early, not the week of.
Absolutely. And it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. That episode breaks it down by vendor and amount. But the key is to prepare ahead—plan it just like any other part of the wedding.
Okay, so what else do we need to think about in that final 90-day stretch?
Here’s a big one—and if you’re not a list person, this may not resonate yet, but I encourage you to become one. Because one thing couples often underestimate is how many personal items they’re actually bringing to the venue. These are things like your guest book, card box, toasting flutes, your cake knife and topper, and all the other little touches that don’t come from your florist or rental company. They’re usually packed and brought with you during the rehearsal and handed off to someone else to set up.
It’s so easy to overlook the small details—things like battery-powered candles, extra batteries, or Sharpies for a guest book. Maybe you have a black-paged photo album with gold Sharpies for people to write in. If you only bring two, and one runs out and the other disappears mid-cocktail hour, suddenly you’re stuck with a bunch of black pens and no way for people to sign their names. It sounds small, but it’s the kind of thing that can easily trip you up. Keeping a master list—whether it’s on paper, in your phone, or on your computer—lets you track everything ahead of time, check things off as you pack, and hand that same list off to someone else to set it all up.
Honestly, it’s a lot to keep in your brain, especially the week of the wedding when everything is coming at you. And because most of the items are so simple—like, yes, of course you’re bringing a cake knife or some pens—it’s the kind of stuff you assume you’ll remember. But when things get hectic, it’s those little details that can slip through the cracks.
Totally. And during that final week, you’ve got so much else going on—picking up your attire, packing if you’re traveling, greeting family, making last-minute decisions, trying to enjoy it all. Having the list written out and ready just gives you peace of mind. You don’t want to get to the venue and suddenly realize you forgot something important. I’ve literally had couples forget their cake topper and send someone back to break into their apartment to grab it. It happens.
And looping back to something we said earlier—don’t forget your marriage license. I’ve seen this happen way more times than I care to admit. It’s the one thing you truly cannot get married without. So make sure it’s with you, in the same tote or bin where you’re keeping everything else.
That’s another good tip. Grab a big plastic storage bin—a tote, a Rubbermaid, whatever—and as you accumulate these things throughout your planning, just toss them in. Keep your list inside the bin, so you can double-check as you go. When it’s time to pack for the rehearsal, seal it up, and you’re done.
Also, one quick plug for your photographers—don’t forget to prep a little detail box. These are the things we’ll photograph for your flat lay, and it’s really meaningful to capture them. That includes your invitation suite, your rings, vow books, jewelry, perfume, shoes—anything personal or sentimental that you want preserved in photos.
Yeah, and if you can gather everything in something simple—like a shoebox or even the box your wedding shoes came in—it makes things so much easier. That way, you can hand it off to your maid of honor or a trusted person, and when the photographer shows up, they don’t have to hunt around your hotel room or ask you where everything is. It’s all there, ready to go.
Alright, final tip for us?
This might sound a little cheesy, but it’s one of the most important ones: breathe. Seriously. It’s so easy to get caught up in the logistics and the stress and the final checklist. But don’t forget to build in just a little bit of time for yourselves. Plan a little date night during the week of the wedding—just the two of you. Even if it’s something low-key, like dinner at home or a walk to grab coffee. That little moment of connection can do wonders for your mental state. It brings you back to your “why.”
Yes! You want to feel grounded, not just running from one task to the next. And let’s be honest—something is probably going to come up last minute. Maybe it’s a rain forecast. Maybe a guest cancels. Maybe your officiant gets the time wrong. It could be small, it could be big. But having that space to breathe and connect helps you tackle those curveballs together.
And lean on your vendors. Call your catering team, your venue, your planner, your photographer—we’ve seen it all. We’ve got your answers. You don’t have to scramble.
Okay, let’s end on a fun one—what’s your wedding hot take?
Alright. I’ve got a few. First one: First looks are underrated. It’s not just about getting to cocktail hour—it’s about calming your nerves. That little private moment before the ceremony can really help ease your anxiety, ground you, and just help you feel present for the rest of the day. I didn’t have one at my own wedding, and I totally wish I had.
Love that. Totally agree.
Second one—and this is a little spicy—but I think blue and white weddings are overrated. Don’t get me wrong, it’s classic. It’s clean. It’s very New England. But I’m so excited to see color making a comeback this year. Bright, bold florals, unexpected palettes—it’s refreshing and fun, and I am absolutely here for it.
I told you I was going to ask you something spicy—and you delivered.
Wrap-Up Question
What are some key points that couples should be asking their event planners when they’re inquiring to make sure that they’re working with a professional company to ensure that their wedding day is perfect, and they get to that 90-day home stretch?
You want to make sure you know what to expect in that home stretch.
Will they be handling the communication? How many meetings will you and they have? Will they be with you at your final venue meeting? What about at the rehearsal again?
Just don’t assume anything. You want to make sure, if it hasn’t been discussed that it’s on your radar to be discussed.
What We Discussed
Meet Shannon (2:18)
Final Weeks of Wedding Planning (4:26)
Marriage License and Other Key Details (6:47)
Floor Plans and Timelines (11:56)
Final Vendor Calls and Attire Preparation (21:21)
Vendor Gratuities and List-Making (30:14)
Wrap-Up Question (34:40)
Links Mentioned in the Episode
You can find SES Events: Website | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | PINTEREST
See Shannon’s previous episodes: Tipping | Timeline Tips & Tricks
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