Planning the perfect wedding weekend starts with thoughtful preparation! Don’t let your pre-wedding celebrations be an afterthought. On today’s episode of Wedding Secrets Unveiled!, Amanda Rolando of Queen Anne’s Loft shares her expert advice for hosting a memorable Rehearsal Dinner and Welcome Party. Wondering about the differences between the two? Who should be invited? How to choose the right venue? Amanda and Sara cover all this and more in today’s must-listen episode!
Meet Amanda.
I’m Amanda Orlando, and I own Queen Anne’s Loft. It’s an event space in Newport, Rhode Island, and we cater to more intimate events. So, whether it’s smaller weddings, ceremonies on site, rehearsal dinners, or welcome receptions, we can accommodate you! Our site holds a maximum of 94 sit down seats and 125 for a cocktail reception. We established Queen Anne’s Loft in 2017, and our first event season was in 2018. So, we’re in the middle of our seventh season.
I’m curious, how did you come up with the name?
We are right outside of Queen Anne Square, which is right in the center of downtown Newport. So, it’s a beautiful park right in the center of everything. I was trying to come up with a name that was kind of a little historic, taking from the location and something a little more unique.
How does one just decide “I’m going to open an event space”?
Yeah, it was definitely a big undertaking. I actually grew up in Newport, born and raised, and I started working at my grandparent’s restaurant right downtown at the Landing. Honestly, I just grew up in the industry. I loved it so much. And then once I went to Endicott College and decided I wanted to go for hospitality and event management. And then right as I was graduating college, the Landing was getting into private events and needed someone to take over that part of the business.
So, that’s where I started – which was in 2010. They were booked all the time. I started thinking it would be great to have another space downtown that caters to the same capacity. There was a bar my uncle owned at the time and he was ready to get out of the bar business, and I was ready to expand. So I kind of just made the jump. That was 8 years ago, and it’s been so much fun.
Dan and I have photographed there a couple of times over the years and done model shoots. I have to say, as a photographer, obviously there’s a lot of spaces out there but consider looking at Queen Anne’s Loft because it’s beautiful. Amanda did a great job.
For today’s podcast, we should focus on the activities that happen around the wedding – like the rehearsal dinner, welcome reception, and brunches. With that said, can you break the difference between a rehearsal dinner and a welcome reception?
So the night before the wedding – though it could be earlier that week – you’ll do your ceremony rehearsal, and that’s typically with just your wedding party, close family members, and family – really anyone who’s participating in the ceremony. After that you, you would traditionally have a rehearsal dinner, where those guests coming in from town are with you. It could be a large or small event, based on your guest list. That could include a cocktail hour, dinner, toasts, and then maybe some mingling after the dinner. A welcome reception is more about an event that’s open to all your wedding guests. It’s more of a cocktail style event.
The rehearsal dinner is more of a sit down, maybe more formal event and the welcome reception is cocktail style with maybe some heavier food options. So, you kind of have the sit down versus cocktail style, and then the other thing that you can do is have a rehearsal dinner and a welcome reception in one event. In that case, the first half might be the rehearsal dinner, and the last half is the reception, which you open up to anyone who is in town.
Being in Newport, it’s such a destination location, and there are so many other areas across the country and in the world where people might be traveling in so it’s a great way to get all your wedding guests together the night for the event. You can introduce those friends that you have been dying to introduce to each other and just kind of get everyone together. It’s like the big wedding kickoff, typically.
Newport is a big destination location, even for those Rhode Islanders. A lot of the places that your guests will stay actually have a two night minimum, so it’s nice to have something planned to welcome them. Plus, it’s nice to get to see everyone because your wedding day can go so fast.
Yeah, you can catch up a little bit in advance, and you’re getting everyone together, and making your wedding weekend last a little bit longer, too. It gives you that extra time together, and event to spend time together.
The rehearsal dinner is more traditional, I would say. Right? You would do your rehearsal practice then go and have some dinner. It was usually the immediate family and bridal party but now we’re starting to see a trend where it turns into more of a reception, where it’s opened more for the guest list.
I’ve seen couples that will open their welcome reception to just the guests that they know are in town, spending the night. I’ve also seen couples invite everyone. So, depending on the size of your wedding, it could be a larger event.
Amanda, talk to me a little bit about the logistics of this. What should couples really be looking for in a venue when they are looking to host an event like these?
You definitely want to take into account the guest count capacities and think about how many guests are going to be coming to the rehearsal dinner or welcome reception. You want to be sure the venue can seat the number of guests if you’re having dinner.
If you decide your rehearsal dinner guest count is going to include aunts and uncles, cousins, and so on, it can really get quite big. You can really keep the guest count small, or you can kind of get bigger from there. With the venue, you want to make sure that they can accommodate that guest count, and you want to be thinking about the location. So, if you are planning to do a rehearsal dinner and a welcome reception, you might want to find a location that can accommodate both in one.
Or, do you want to have a rehearsal dinner in one location and the welcome reception in another? There can be some pros and cons to both. I think it’s great to be able to have a venue that can have the rehearsal dinner and welcome reception in one because just between the two events, you’re not losing guests. People will stay longer. Plus, you’re not having to transport your guests and don’t have to worry about getting people to two different venues.
You don’t have to worry about logistics – how are people going between them, how are you getting there, and setting up two venues. Usually, if you’re doing rehearsal dinner and welcome reception in one you can kind of just have the room set for both events. So, you’re not changing decor or moving things around. The other thing is that you’re not dealing with two different venues, coordinators, rules, and those types of things. So just having the event in one location, I think is great, because of all of those things.
But it also is kind of cool to have the event in two locations. So, if you want to have the rehearsal dinner in one spot, maybe it’s a really great space that accommodates a smaller group for the dinner, and then you’re really opening a large guest count for the welcome reception. So, then you need to go to a different location. Both ways have their pros and cons.
Talk to me about food. What is your suggestion? What should people do for food for these events?
As far as the food goes, if you’re doing the rehearsal dinner, traditionally, we’ll start with a first hour as a cocktail hour. During that time, you can have hors d’oeuvre, stationery platters, and then some sort of sit down meal afterwards. If you’re doing a welcome reception, that’s typically more cocktail style. So, you can still feed your guests – it honestly depends on the timing. If it’s during those dinner hours, it’s probably a good idea to feed them a little bit heavier options. So that could be heavy passed appetizers or stations.
If you’re going to do a rehearsal dinner and welcome reception, we would shorten the cocktail time in the beginning. So you could do very light hors d’oeuvres during that time – like one stationery platter, one cheese platter, something like that for the people who rushed to get to the rehearsal dinner since the reception is starting later. That’s the food I would recommend for those two styles.
What is the difference with when you were referencing hors d’oeuvres- heavy versus light?
It’s how you would be feeding your guests. So, if you’re going light, it’s more along the lines of a cocktail hour and your guests would have had something before that. You’re offering food but it’s not dinner. Whereas hors d’oeuvres, because it’s not a sit-down dinner and it’s hors d’oeuvres, you’re feeding them more of a substantial amount.
Let’s get into tips and tricks to help with actually planning and executing these events.
The first thing is that it’s important to have an RSVP for the welcome portion of your wedding weekend. A lot of couples might have people coming and going, so it may not have to be a firm count, but you need to have an idea of the amount you might have. This is because of venue capacities. The venue you select will probably want to have the number of guests coming. But it’s also needed for food and beverage ordering, prepping, staffing for the venue. It also helps create a better setup – you don’t want the space filled with tables and chairs if you have a ton of people coming.
On the invitation for that event, I do think it’s important to note the type of food that will be served. It gives your guests an idea of what to expect and what kind of dinner plans they need to plan for.
Just throwing this in – don’t overlook having your photographer there to capture the day. Not as many couples have us at their welcome events as I would like to see. It’s really a more organic and laidback process compared to your wedding day. These are some of the closest people in your life, all gathered together in one room. You want it captured.
Oh, yeah, for sure. I always get excited when I see a photographer at the rehearsal dinner or the welcome reception, because, like you said, every one of your closest family members and friends are there, and it’s just so much fun. People are so excited, they’re ready to kick off the weekend, and we’re just so happy to be together. So, to be able to capture that, I do think it’s really important.
And like you said, it’s a lot less emotional. It’s a very casual and fun affair.
Talk to me a little bit about timing for these events.
I think this is one of the most important aspects. I’m always all over our couples about timing. With the rehearsal dinner, this could traditionally be about 2-3 hours and if you combine, you’re looking at least three to four hours. The only time I think you’d need to add more time is if you have a larger guest count coming. It will take a little extra time to serve a bigger group. You don’t want people rushing through dinner.
Another thing you could add time for is if you’re planning to have a lot of toasts. That can take up a lot of time and or if you wanted a little bit more time in the beginning for your guests to mingle, or at the end for mingling, you could add time one. That timing kind of works. If you are planning to do the rehearsal dinner and the welcome reception in one, what I would recommend is that the first 30 minutes allow your guests to arrive. Everyone’s going to be trickling in and that 30 minutes allows for it.
Maybe you have some light hors d’oeuvres. During that time, people are grabbing a drink, they’re just kind of getting settled. Then guests would sit down for dinner. So, I think it’s good to have about an hour and a half for dinner time and that includes any toasts you might have. Traditionally, when guests are seated, there’s a welcome toast – a “thank you for coming this weekend. We’re so excited.” You can certainly keep that short and sweet. The first two hours is the dinner, the last are the welcome reception.
Going back to the toasts, I find that on your wedding day, you might have the welcome toast, a blessing, then the maid of honor and best man. Some people do all four. Some only do two. But these welcome events are a great time to do the toasts you don’t have time for on your wedding day.
You can definitely incorporate toasts into the rehearsal dinner/welcome reception. We usually will see them during the rehearsal dinner portion. If you did just a welcome reception, you can certainly build in some time there for toasts. But yes, this is a great opportunity for those close family members or friends who do want to say something, but you might not have the time built in for them to do so at the wedding. Just make sure to add it to your timeline. If you’re having a lot of toasts and plan to do them back-to-back, have a family member or friend who is the designated emcee for the night. Have a list and then know about how long someone’s toast will be.
When we have food, we can definitely be standing in the back waiting to serve asking how much longer it’s going to be. It’s so great and heartfelt, but if it’s going to be a longer toast, it’s good to know in advance for timing and planning. Of course, you can keep it more formal, but I do think it’s helpful if you’re planning to have a lot of toasts so we can stay on track and be sure we’re finished in time. Because the goal, if you are having a rehearsal dinner and welcome reception, is that you want to be standing by the bar by the time the welcome reception guests arrive. You don’t want them to feel like they were just walking into your dinner or an event that they weren’t invited to. You want them to feel like it’s where they’re meant to be.
Just coming from the photographer’s POV – most of the time, if you do have coverage for your events, you don’t need the photographer there all night. So you want to maximize their time there. We’ll aim for maybe 2 hours, that’s usually great. You can get the details and the important points. So, if you’re having toasts, you’ll want those captured.
What other kinds of things have you seen people do during rehearsal dinners/welcome receptions?
Yeah, we’ll see toasts, handing out gifts, and group photos. A lot of couples will also bring welcome bags. I know some hotels will charge you to put them out or you can’t get where people are staying, so a lot of couples will bring them to their welcome events. It can be good and bad. Definitely good if everyone takes them, but I have seen couples lugging them back at the end of the night. So, we always try really hard to get all of your guests to take them. As people are walking out, we are handing out the bags. We want them to enjoy your hard work! Keep in mind that they can take up space, so have a table reserved for that. They can also be heavy so have someone there to help you.
That’s a good tip. Let’s dive a bit further into the food situation for these events.
Couples will ask me what I recommend for food, and the first thing I will always say is to think about what you’re doing for your wedding. It’s best to not double up on things and to have something different. You want each event to stand out. You don’t want to take away from the wedding and you want each to be a little different. So, for the welcome dinner, we’re in Newport and very seafood heavy. But, it doesn’t always have to be that way. I think it’s nice to showcase the local fare for your guests. You know your guests better than I do, so you know what they might like. But, as far as past events, we’ve had all sorts of things.
I always think it’s nice to have a meat, seafood and a vegetarian option, just to kind of cater to all the guests you have coming. Again, having an RSVP with the entrée selection will be important. I think that’s pretty common, although I know some places don’t require that. Again, if you think your guests are coming to Newport, you might want to be more seafood heavy. What I’ll see the night before is we do like a lobster boil or clam bake option, which is a lot of fun. You’re really getting to know the guest who’s sitting next to you. It’s really interactive.
For the welcome reception, you could do a local set of hour d’oeuvres, but sometimes people also go more like late night style. So, for the welcome reception, you could do, pizza options, different types of sliders, a cheese and cracker sort of thing, and then also a variety of desserts, depending on the venue. Maybe that’s the time that you can bring in something you really love. If you know your wedding venue is maybe a little bit more strict and you couldn’t have the bakery you loved or whatever, then you could have it the night before.
Yeah, sometimes your guest count is lower so you can do a more personalized option.
Yeah, and we do have in house catering. It’s all in house catering and bar so we try to keep it very streamlined. You’re not having to bring in tables or chairs, we have all of those items. All the tables, chairs, glassware, flatware, everything you would need for food and beverage service. With our kitchen on site, we have a variety of menus available. I always tell people, if you don’t see something there, we can usually accommodate it.
The reason why I was asking is because you were mentioning a big variety, so I was wondering if you have a super flexible chef or are bringing in outside help. How many events do you all do on a weekend?
It really varies by season. So, I would say, spring is usually a slower start. Then by June through November, we’re in full swing. In December we can get a lot of holiday parties, so it’s probably 80-90 events a year.
Is there an event minimum at your location? And do you find that in the industry there is, or no?
Yes, we do have a food and beverage minimum, but we don’t have a guest count minimum. You could come in with five guests, and that’s fine, as long as you hit the food and beverage minimum. I would say almost all venues do. I would think, at least in the Newport area, basically, that’s just covering the venue. We’re going to reserve the space to you so it’s guaranteeing that you spend a certain amount of money.
And also, too for our listeners, a lot of times, you’ll either see an event minimum or a room fee. The venue has to cover their costs. I just don’t want people to be intimidated by these things.
Some venues might have a site fee and a food and beverage minimum. And really what the differentiation between the two is that your site fee is covering all the things that your event might have in house – the tables, chairs, linens. That number comes from taking your overhead for the year and dividing it among the events you have. Then if you have the food and beverage minimum, that’s guaranteeing that on a specific date, they’re going to make that amount of money.
Wrap-Up Question
What are some key points that couples should be asking their event locations when they’re inquiring to make sure they’re working with a professional company to ensure that their event is an absolute perfect affair?
Before you really get started, look online and check those reviews. Make sure the reviews are reflecting who you’ve been speaking to at the venue and see how long the reviews go back.
See the space in person so you can take in the sights, smells, and area around it. You want to see how clean it is and meet your coordinator face-to-face.
Check the vibe! Make sure everyone is someone you would be good to work with for a year or two in advance of your event. If you can trust your vendors, that is definitely a game changer in your wedding planning journey.
Think about what is important to you as a couple. Is it a specific location? Or a specific vibe that’s in budget? You want to really look for that in the venue and vendors you work with.
What We Discussed
Meet Amanda (2:26)
Differences Between Rehearsal Dinner and Welcome Reception (5:34)
Logistics and Planning (26:07)
Food Options and Timing (26:22)
Toasts and Other Event Activities (26:50)
Welcome Bags and Other Event Details (27:45)
Wrap-Up Question (36:01)
Links Mentioned in the Episode
Find Queen Anne’s Loft: Website | Instagram | Facebook
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